I just needed to know
by CoconutPrincess
Summary: Unexpected visitor from Kate's past shows up at her door. She thought, she'd never see him again. Why did he come? Just a little angst. Takes place after "Eggtown" episode.


_It's just something I was wondering about. A question never answered on the show. Did Kate meet Kevin after she came back from the Island? Was he looking for her? I decided to write a little story on what could've happened. It's nor a romance. Of course, I could've write he would want her back and create another love triangle: Kevin, Jack and Kate, but as tempted as it seemed, I don't believe he would've waited for her that long. Maybe if there wouldn't be that much time involved... Well, maybe I write something like that soon. For now, I hope you enjoy my little story :)_

_Also, I have to say, Kate is one of my favourite characters but I think, writers could've done a better job. There's just so much wasted potential. It's just sad, so I just keep writing, letting my ideas out :)_

**I just needed to know...**

She's free. For the first **ti**me in the past few years, Kate is free to do whatever she wants to. She doesn't have to hide, she doesn't have to be worried that someone will recognize her. She doesn't even have to be worried about any smoke monsters or others. She was back in the normal world. Everything that happened before the Island was just a past. The verdict was that she was not guilty. She was free to go on with her life. It felt weird and she didn't know what to do with herself.

She decided to sign Aaron up to the nursery, he needed to meet other children his age, it wasn't good for him to spend time only with adults, so now Kate was home alone, in the clean house and didn't know what to do with herself. She needed to do something...

A knock on the door took her out of her thoughts. Slowly getting up, Kate wondered who it might be. Jack would've called and she didn't expect anyone else.

She opened the door and froze. She didn't expect that. Out of all the people, she never expected to see him again. Ever.

"Kevin?" she managed to say.

Kate couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her stood a man that she loved once. A man that she lied to, then she drugged him and left him. Someone who, she thought, would carry on with his life without trying to look after her. She was wrong, obviously.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" she asked.

That was awkward. Very awkward. What did he expect? What did she expect him to say?

"I-I don't know. I just wanted to see you, get some answers. It seemed like a good idea but, I..." he seemed lost. It was as awkward as it could get, there was nothing either of them could say. Kate hadn't seen him in a few years. And there he was, standing in front of her, looking exactly the same as she remembered him.

Kate loved him once. She loved him with all her heart. But that was then. Now, she was standing there, facing a man she hurt, having no idea what to do.

"Uh, would you like to come in?" Kate asked. It was the only thing that came to her mind. "I'l get you some coffee"

"Yeah," Kevin rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks" he followed her to the kitchen.

Kate poured two cups of coffee, her head full of thoughts. What did he expect? Why did he come?

"Monica..." he started but she cut him off.

"My name is not Monica." she said calmly. She wasn't angry, that's who he had married.

"Yeah, right, sorry." he answered, her answer confused him.

"Why are you here?" Kate asked.

"Shit, it all made sense in my head but now..." it was the first time she ever heard him swear. Sure, he was a cop but for the short period they were married he never used that kind of a language at home. Home, how stupid it sounds, she thought.

Kate couldn't take his misery. Surely, he had his reasons why he came here, but she knew what was her fault, what has she done to him.

"I am sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for everything," that was the only thing that came to her mind. Even when she left him, she wanted him to know how sorry she was. How sorry she was that she wasn't what he deserved, that she couldn't give him the happiness, he deserved. She was sorry, it was true, so she said it. There was nothing else she could say but when she said it, something in his eyes changed. She couldn't say what it was.

"Stop that. I didn't come here for you to apologize." Kevin said. His voice wasn't angry, it was sad, tired, everything but not angry.

"Then, why are you here?" she replied.

"I just need to know why? I need to know why you did this? Was I just a tool? Did you just use me to hide? I need to know why?" he desperately said.

It was everything that Kate didn't expect. She'd thought that by know he moved on, had a new wife, possibly kids. That he was happy.

Kate took a sip of her coffee wondering what she should say. Surely, she could lie to him. Tell him, she needed somewhere to stay, that it was really easy to get it from him. She could lie and make him hate her even more than he probably did. That was easy, he probably would leave and she would never see him again. But, after all she'd done to him, he deserved the truth, so Kate decided to give him the truth.

"I fell in love." was all she said.

"That's why you left?" Kevin asked.

Kate breathed slowly, trying to calm herself down.

"No, that's why I married you." Kate wanted to stop there but she noticed his eyes, asking her to continue.

"I never should've done in. It was selfish, stupid. I fell for you so bad, it was never meant to last for long. I was supposed to be back on run after a couple of weeks but you... You were everything that I wanted. I couldn't make myself to leave. I knew, it was too good to be true, but when you asked me to marry you... I should've said no and went away. Instead, I stayed. I don't know what I was thinking. You didn't even know my name." Kate laughed sadly.

Kevin was silent. She looked up from her cup and his eyes told her to continue.

"I was happy, we were happy. And then I thought I got pregnant. I couldn't be a mother..."

"You are now," he spoke, stating the truth.

"Yes, I am." she said sadly. "But, back then, that was like a wake up call. I realized that whatever we had, it couldn't last forever. I couldn't give you want you needed or wanted. I could never give you a family. I was a fugitive on a run, I wasn't a mother figure, I wasn't a wife material, either. And then, you bought those tickets. And I couldn't even leave the country. If they'd realize I was using a fake passport, I could get you in trouble... After then I knew, I had to do something. I had to give you your life back. I had to give you a chance to have a normal life with a woman that you deserved. Beside, sooner or later, you would figure it out. The reports you were working on, you would find my picture there. How was I supposed to explain that to you. I needed to disappear, so I did," Kate told him everything, there was nothing else to say.

"I was looking for you." Kevin said simply.

"I knew you would," she took another sip of her coffee.

"Not to arrest you," he stated. "I loved you so much, I thought we could sort it out, hire a lawyer..."

"You were a cop!" she said. "How did you expect it to work out? With your job, being married to a fugitive. How would that look?" she raised her voice a bit. She wasn't angry, she was desperate for him to understand that it would't work. Ever.

"We could figure something out," he said sadly.

"Well, it's too late for that now," Kate had enough. Why the hell did he show up at her house. He should've just let it go. "Why did you come here?" she asked again, tired of their conversation.

"I needed to know. I had to be sure, you weren't a bad person. I had to be sure, I married a good person."

"You married someone who never existed," Kate was sad and angry, she just wanted him to go.

"That is not true, and you know it," this time it was her turn to be quiet.

"Well, I came her, because I needed to know that I didn't marry a bad person... There... There's someone I met, someone I want to marry, but I needed to be sure that I'm not blind, that I won't be fooled again."

"I'm really sorry that you thought that," the last thing she ever wanted was to make him feel that way.

"Thank you for clearing it out for me. I just needed to know. God, it sounds pathetic." he said.

"It doesn't, and I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that." she said. "I really wish you the best and hope that you two will be happy."

It was really awkward, there was nothing more that needed to be said.

"Thanks, I probably should go," he said, getting up and walking slowly to the door. Kate followed.

He was about to leave, when he turned back to her and said,

"I wish, you hadn't run..."

Kate couldn't say the same. She was devastated after she left but then she wouldn't be where she was now. Did she regret going through all of this? Maybe a bit, but then she had a chance to start a new life, to have a normal life, something she couldn't have with Kevin.

"I really wish you the best" was all she said.

"Goodbye Kevin." Kate looked him in the eyes.

"Goodbye." he said, leaving her alone.

Kate watched as he walked to his car. She shut the door and slid to the ground, sitting on the floor, she finally let it go. Tears streamed down her face. She closed another chapter of her life. There were moments, when she was dreading that he would come. Those moments lasted for a couple of seconds, they came to her at night, when she couldn't sleep. But then, the logic won, why the hell would he come. She thought, she had nothing to worry about. But it happened and it was over now. She would never have to worry about seeing him again, explaining everything to him. One more thing was out of the way, one more thing was gone. She was glad for that, she had enough on her plate already. She felt relieved. The ringing of her phone did bring her back to the world.

"Jack?"

**The End**


End file.
